I intended on writing a book about this experience, but for now I'm blogging. For the past 3 years I've suffered with what I call "restless soul syndrome" and I felt like I needed a change, to plant my roots, something. I am turning 40 this year and I don't have kids; it made me wonder why I was still in Utah. It felt like everything I was trying to create was being held back and it made me wonder if just maybe I wasn't supposed to do it in Utah.

I was hell bent on walking through my fear in my life. I've lived in such fear that I've missed out on many things for fear of people making fun of me, falling, failing, etc. I just couldn't live like that anymore; maybe this is why I flew to the other end of the earth because when things get hard or uncomfortable, I can't just run home. It forces me to walk through it and actually "be" with it. They say that when you are comfortable your not growing. This journey has been ongoing discomfort in one way or another and continues to be.

I am very fortunate to be able to walk this path and be here but I certainly did not choose the easy way. It continues to try to bend and break me at times, but I guess that's just life for all of us. My dear friend puts things into perspective by reminding me that the journey separates the strong from the weak, the successes from the failures. Hearing that from her makes me want to keep going when I feel like giving up.

I ventured out to google and starting looking at nanny jobs in Italy, families I could stay with in Peru, as I wanted to brush up on my Spanish and get myself fluent. I think God knew I was about to do something crazy so he put a friend from Jr. High in my path that lived in Australia; someone that could at least look after me and show me the ropes.

I was supposed to be here in September but had a few things come into my path... Men... It seems as though this is my year to have many dark energies enter my life and try to take me off my path; it worked! I just love that God has a sense of humor but sometimes it's hard to laugh it off.

My original flight was September 5th, 2009; I finally landed in Brisbane Airport on November 29th, 2009. My "spiritual walkabout" had begun. Little did I realize that coming to another country would be like being 2 years old again.. I had no phone, I couldnt drive; not only do they drive on the other side of the car here and the other side of the road; and did I forget to mention? I had no clue where I was going! Me being a very independent person and wanting everything to happen NOW, this was a very frusterating process for me.

I got to baby step in learning to drive, first to the petrol station; which is the gas station to us in the US, then to the shop, which is the grocery store for us. I almost had my first head on collision 2 days into driving but I was only going 10 mph so it wasnt terrible but it certainly freaked out the lady in front of me; she had that petrified deer in the headlight look!

There are roundabouts all over here in Australia and I got to learn how to count again.. Exit 1,2, or 3; your constantly merging and it's quite the adventure trying to follow someone, merge, and not lose them. I've literally been exhaused after driving to the city and back; it's crazy the little things we take for granted.

I thought this would be such a zen experience for me; not the case really. I have literally had trouble just "being" since I got here. The curiousity and uncertainty of my future literally has had me in the future!

It amazes me how naive I was and still am about this end of the world. They really don't educate Americans outside of America; which brings me to pinch myself again because I forget how far from home I am, then actually realize where I am!